I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
