Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
