I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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