listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
