it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
