How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
