Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
