I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
