if i died would you start the facebook group?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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