Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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