I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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