just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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