we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
