i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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