For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
