in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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