So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
