38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
