i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
