R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
