Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
