you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
