brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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