in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
