Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
