so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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