if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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