Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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