Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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