Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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