Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
