when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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