His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
