So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
