i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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