This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
why is half of my head shaved?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
