They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
