So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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