i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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