ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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