So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
