At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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