Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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