Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
