I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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