turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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