We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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