Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
