im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
