i think i have two assholes
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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