it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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