bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
