I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
